The Last Dance

America is a game to be played. American’s enjoy the hunt and the thrill that it brings, more so than the ultimate reward that comes along at the end. This is mimicked in the fictional stories The Great Gatsby, “Starfood”, and “The Rich Brother”, where the characters struggle to accept the circumstances that result from loving the game.

In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, Jay Gatsby is obsessed with improving his social status  and believes that Daisy will help him in doing so. The character Daisy Buchanan has a voice that is the defining characteristic of her persona. Her cousin Nick struggles to pinpoint the charm behind Daisy’s voice, but main character Gatsby asserts that “her voice is full of money” (120). Nick then corroborates this claim explaining there was “the jingle of it, the cymbal’s song of it” (120). Gatsby’s tone when he describes her voice shows confidence and wisdom, as if he has known of her wealth all along. This excerpt also exposes the true motive behind Gatsby’s infatuation with Daisy, as she is only part of the game and he enjoys the idea one day being able to own her. With money like Daisy has, comes social status. Therefore, initially, Gatsby believes that winning Daisy is his dream, as she is his ticket to the top of the social ladder, where he thinks he’ll be satisfied. 

Furthermore, Gatsby views Daisy not as a human love interest, but rather an object similar to a trophy that will serve only as a benefit to his persona. As Gatsby’s young early connection to Daisy is explained, it’s revealed that “it excited him, too, that many men had already loved Daisy- it increased her value in his eyes” (149). Gatsby’s excitement reflects the anticipation of chasing her for the next five years, and knowing eventually, she will be his. The fact that there are “many other men” lusting after Daisy, makes her a more valuable prize. Typically we talk about objects increasing in value, but it’s not as often that we say that about a person. Throughout the book, Daisy is referenced as having qualities of gold, which tends to increase in value with the market. Therefore, Gatsby objectifies Daisy by relating her to something that can be bought on the market or fluctuate in value. Furthermore, his excitement mimics how one feels before beginning a game and eyeing the prize that you are fighting to win. Therefore, Daisy is both literally and symbolically the prize that Americans like Gatsby strive to attain when living in America. 

Even though she is a human, not an object, Daisy and her suitors follow the principle of supply and demand, a very American consumerism principle. Daisy who symbolizes supply, is one of a kind, and the demand for her is high, making her value increase. The process of winning her over is more difficult, which intrigues Gatsby. Therefore, to Gatsby, it is not as much about winning the game and claiming the prize, but rather playing the game indefinitely that brings him the most joy.

Similarly, in the short story “Starfood”, Dade is continually chasing after the thief who comes into the store. The thief repeatedly steals, and each time Dade freezes up when he has a clear chance to catch her. As he explains, they “were looking into each other’s eyes when she walked out the front door”. Each time, this pattern is repeated where the thief's eyes prevent him from stopping her. In this excerpt the word “into” has significance because by peering into his eyes she is able to maintain control over him. Furthermore, every time  the woman steals, the woman “walk[s] out the door”, as if she knows that he won’t pursue her. There is no sign of struggle or guilt in her actions, making him want to catch her even more badly. So, he continually convinces himself that he will seize her next time, and the next time, and the next time, but it continues to happen with no arrest. Finally, Dade captures the woman, and initially, he claims that he “felt strong and good”. Yet, as he reaches the stockroom door, the act “flushed [him] with remorse”. The fact that he feels “strong and good” demonstrates his confidence in the decision, yet this is contrasted with “remorse”, a feeling that is consequential to regret. The direct contrast between these two feelings explains that it was never about actually catching the woman, but rather about the process of catching her.

The theme of playing the game is again repeated in the short story “The Rich Brother”. Throughout the whole car ride, Pete and his younger brother Donald bickered, with Pete continually disapproving of the choices Donald made. After finally getting fed up with the belittling remarks, Donald decides to leave the car before they reach the destination. Pete speeds away after releasing Donald from the car, “and in this way, smiling, nodding to the music, he went another mile or two and pretended that he was not already slowing down, that he wouldn’t turn back, that he would be able to drive on like this”. The tone that reads form this excerpt is full of regret and insincerity. The word “pretended” illustrates that Pete doesn’t want to admit the fact that he was wrong to let Donald leave, and it was unjust to treat him the way he did. He pretends because he knows that eventually he will turn back, but doesn’t want to own up to it quite yet. Therefore, for the duration of the car ride, Pete builds up to the consequence of his degrading comments, expecting to feel relieved with Donald leaving. Yet he is truly only doing it to play the harsh game with Donald and his feelings rather than to have Donald finally leave the car, as he instantly regrets finishing the game once the deed is done.

Playing the game represents the heart of American culture. The American game presents itself as a wonderful opportunity with rewards of luxury and bliss, but in reality, it doesn’t live up to its advertisement. Rather, Americans like Gatsby, Dade, and Donald discover that the true reward was the journey that led them there. I have noticed this concept reflected in my life as an American as I progress through my high school education. Living on the North Shore and going to a school like New Trier High School is a privilege in and of itself. New Trier prides itself on its well-known status and the opportunities it brings out of highschool. Still, in my opinion, the true value has come what I’ve learned so far in my experiences and what lessons I have been able to take away. I have been exposed to life skills that I can carry with me for the rest of my life, and I find this to be much more valuable than a short term reward for finishing high school. From these various forms of literature, I’ve learned that rather than wait for my diploma and the supposed opportunities, I need to take action now to maximize my journey and the things I can take away from it.

Covid-19 Journal #3

4.19.20: (List 2, Q9) Assuming that everything will go back to normal, I want to appreciate my time with my peers at school more. Of course, I adore and miss my close friends, who I’d often visit outside of school. Yet, I miss my acquaintances the most. Those who I only know on a surface level, and merely saw in classes. They may not be as close to me, but I definitely took their presence in my life for granted. Although I only talked to them for thirty minutes at most a day, because I am at school for around six hours a day, seven days a week, that ends up equating to a large portion of my time. It seemed okay to not appreciate their friendship before, because I could count on the fact that I would see them the next day. Now, due to our dire circumstances, I won’t be seeing them until next year. Yet, even that is unlikely, because it’s nearly impossible that I will have classes with all of them next year, as my schedule and classes will be different. Therefore, next year I plan to be mindful of everyone who brings me happiness, because it’s not guaranteed that you will see them the next day.

4.22.20: (List 2, Q13) Recently, because I tend to spend more time outside, I have begun to notice the difference in the smell of the air. Today it smelled extra earthy, which made it feel more like spring despite the hot and cold weather we’ve been having. I also noticed the smell of freshly cut grass, and it reminded me of what I’d smell when I’d begin my walk home from school. On the other hand, because I’m inside my house for two thirds of the day, the smells inside my house have gotten less intense. With two dogs, the first smell I typically sense is theirs, but I don’t even notice it right now. Yet, when my dad is cooking something in the kitchen, I can smell it all the way from the second floor. So now, I smell more good things, and less unpleasant things!

4.24.20: (List 2, Q11) This summer, I was supposed to go on the China trip through New Trier’s program, which as you might guess… was cancelled. Upon finding this out, all the families were pressed on the topic of money, because it was a large expense for the total trip. The trip organizer’s ended up getting us almost one-hundred percent of the money back, making my parents and I extremely happy. From the start, I was on the fence of whether I wanted to go or not, because spending money like that makes me nervous. So, when the coronavirus outbreak started, I felt uneasy as I didn’t know if we would get any money back. This expense going back into the bank accounts was a big relief, and it continued when another one rolled in a few weeks later. My sister was planning on going on a mountaineering expedition this summer, which, as expected, got cancelled. Therefore, another large sum of money traveled back into the accounts. As my parents celebrated, my sister and I were obviously less enthusiastic as we knew we were going to be missing out on some amazing adventures. But seeing my parents relax a bit, made it all worth it.

Covid-19 Journal #2

4.13.20: Q6: Instead of eating old favorites, my family has been trying more new recipes than before. My dad, the cook of the family, seems to use these new dinners as a way to differentiate the days of the week, and have something to look forward to. Also, we have been eating a lot more vegetable and fish based dinners, with less meat overall. We’ve all thrown the idea of going pescatarian as a family, so maybe by the time quarantine is over, my eating habit will be completely different. Today, my dad made portabella mushrooms with tomatoes and goat cheese, and it was to die for. The mushrooms were incredible because they are a very meaty vegetable, so they created a very filling dinner, and or substitution for meat. I am looking forward to trying more new meals, and hopefully joining in on some of the cooking.

4.15.20: Q19: What impact is technology having on your daily life? Is this different than usual? After enduring remote learning for only three weeks, I can say that I do feel the effects of using technology 24/7. Compared to regular school, it seems my usage is up 200%, as now I tend to use it for everything from notes and quizzes. The two things I’ve noticed so far have affected my physical well-being, which surprised me. Firstly, I’ve recognized that by the end of every day, my eyes feel shot and insanely exhausted. They feel kinda scratchy and dry. Secondly, my body feels exhausted after I end each individual zoom call. On blue days my schedule is jam packed, all my classes require participation so I have to be ready at all times. I think I get unconsciously worked up during class, because by the time I leave the meeting my body is slightly shaking. It goes away really quickly though, and it’s happening less, so it’s all good. From that to my eyes, I definitely see the effects of using technology, but I also notice that my body has adjusted immensely since the begging of remote learning. I feel much less overwhelmed, and enjoy having a routine to my days. Although I swear everyday either feels like a Monday or a Friday...

4.16.20: Q4: What did you do for fun today? A birthday in quarantine… sounds kind of disappointing to me. But today, it was my friend’s mom’s birthday, along with my 25 year old cousin’s birthday, and both families found a way to make it fun. Because both having a birthday party, or stopping by for a birthday hug are both out of the question, we resorted to the infamous app of the past month. Zoom. I will say, the first birthday zoom was a bit awkward as there were so many voices overlapping, and lots of motion happening all at once. That being said, it was fun to see many faces I don’t get to see regularly, and have a fun new way to give birthday wishes. Then, later in the evening I got to do the same for my cousin. For that zoom meetup it was a much smaller group of people, so the interaction was much smoother. We all ended up spending at least thirty minutes talking and introducing ourselves to the group, because many of us had never met. In that regard, I found the experience to be extremely enjoyable because it brought out one positive of this current situation. For both people, if it weren’t for our current situation, I don’t think they would have received more than a quick text at most. So, despite being pulled away from people I see regularly, in turn I have gotten to connect more with people I see only a few times a year.

Covid-19 Journal #1

3.20.20
Q1: The first day after school was closed, I got chills when I stepped outside. No one outside. No one in cars, no one on bikes, no one walking, nobody. I live by a golf course typically filled with dog walkers, but not a person was in sight. My family and I carried on as if everything was normal, but whenever we’d go outside, it felt uncomfortably eerie. When I went for a run that day, I decided to go down Sheridan road, because it usually has a consistent stream of traffic. As I should have guessed, I saw two cars in total over the duration of my run. Since then, the number of people outside has definitely increased, but it is still significantly less than it was merely two weeks ago. Neighbors have conversations from across the street, briefly chatting about their experience at the grocery store that day. I find that people only go outside to do the necessities like walking the dog, or driving to the grocery store. My neighborhood is a tightly knit community, so this crisis hasn’t broken our bond. In fact, we have been acting more as a community than every before, doing things like helping elderly people buy groceries, or offering other forms of service to those who need it. I haven’t felt that eerie feeling in a few days now, but with the unknowingness of what could happen, there is always the possibility of its return.

4.6.20
Q6: This might be quite a surprise to some, even myself, but the best thing I ate today was a bowl of Life Cereal. On a typical school day, I seem to always rush out the door, so I never have time to grab more than an apple on my way out the door. Yet now with our current situation, I have all the time in the world. With all this time, I still chose one of the most simple breakfasts in the most simple flavor- life cereal. There is something nostalgic about this cereal and the simpler elementary school times associated with it. I remember my dad placing it in front of me in a plastic ikea bowl, then dowsing it with milk until it was completely submerged. Now, I repeat this same process, but I’m doing it by myself instead of my dad, and the times are chaotically simple. So, that’s what made my bowl of cereal so satisfying this morning. Just the fact that I had time to eat a bowl of cereal. And the taste of course :)

4.9.20

Q18: Today in health class we met on a zoom call and used up the whole hour of class time. It was the most relaxing thing I have done all week. For the first half hour, my whole class just had a conversation letting us catch up with each other. It was one of the most normal conversations that I’ve had all week because it felt like something typically done in that class at school, so it mimicked that connected feeling. Then, for the second half of class, my teacher led stretching and meditation. When it was over, I felt rejuvenated and calm. It definitely was something I never would have done on my own, so for that reason, I’m definitely glad that we have a somewhat structured schedule, and that our non-core classes still require us to be engaged.

Junior Theme Reflection

Mental Health Infographic (National Alliance on Mental Illness) 

Abstract: My research paper explores the stigma surrounding mental illness. I chose this topic because I wanted to learn more about something that impacts people close to me. In my research, I found a strong connection between the stigma and what is portrayed in box office films. According to the book Mental Illness in Popular Culture, of the movies featuring “psychotic” people (those suffering from mental illness), “over 90 percent, were released after 1960” (Mental Illness in Popular Culture, Sharon Packer). As many of these films were thrillers centered around a violent mentally diagnosed antagonist, “the false connection of evil and mental illness” was formed (Junior Theme). I also found that the lack of education contributed to the stigma around mental illness. Unfortunately, there is a disconnect between the severity of physical illness and mental illness, as physical illness is prioritized both personally and in health care institutions. Additionally, there is a large impact from language and actions towards those with mental illness. Vocabulary such as crazy, disturbed, or psycho, “all stem from mental [illness] diagnosis and have negative connotations, yet we use them in our everyday vocabulary”, spreading the stigma and polarizing those with mental health challenges (Junior Theme).

Reflection: From my research, I was most surprised when learning more about the difference in treatment of physical and mental illness in professional settings. One case was especially horrifying, in which a patient’s symptoms associated with mental illness were brought to a doctors attention, and dismissed by the doctor, later resulting in the patient's death. I was devastated to hear that even a doctor, one of the most educated professionals, had succumbed to society’s stigma. Later in my research, I discovered that the distinction between physical and mental illness is more common than I thought. Even in schools, teachers are trained significantly less on how to handle mental illness when approached by a student, compared to a physical illness, like an allergic reaction. At the beginning of my research, I believed that the stigma surrounding mental illness was on the rise, but I now know it’s the contrary. The number of people acknowledging their mental illness is increasing, and this is largely due to the decrease in stigma and growth of acceptance and understanding. For example, therapy is now a common practice, whether you have mental health issues or not. People are less afraid to discuss their mental illness with friends, family, and even casual acquaintances. If I had the opportunity, I would continue my research into mental health stigma within minority groups. I noticed many articles focused on why the stigma is greater within minority groups, finding that it’s commonly seen as a sign of weakness, and therefore shamed. I found the topic of language surrounding stigma to be most interesting, because words like “psycho” or “crazy” are used in such a casual sense, that I rarely think twice when hearing or saying them myself. Yet, after researching, I understand why these words can be offensive to those with a diagnosed mental illness or disorder, as they are used out of context and in a derogatory way. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about this topic, and hope to apply it to my own life as I attempt to create a less stigmatized environment for those around me.

Can Ayaan Do Anything?

Ayaan thinks highly of himself, is grateful, and has big dreams. At least that’s what he has been taught to believe. He’s walking to school with his parents and is only three years old. Wearing his baseball cap tipped up so he can see and a backpack that’s almost as big as he is, Ayann repeats his optimistic mantra, “I am smart, I am blessed, I can do anything!” When I first saw the viral video I thought, “Oh wow, how cute. This little kid is going to make it in life.” But, the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why I had that reaction.

Ta-Nehisi Coates’ book, Between the World and Me, clarified my perspective on the education system by reaffirming that it is flawed. Ayann’s mantra sounded familiar. Yes, it was definitely something I had heard before, something that closely follows the lines of the growth mindset taught in schools. This is the idea where students believe that with learning, hard work and persistence they can develop their abilities and intelligence versus a fixed mindset where students believe their intelligence, abilities and talents are fixed traits. I can’t help but think of  my elementary school days, when teachers and parents would ike to ask the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up? With answers like, “an astronaut, a movie star or professional soccer player,” my dreams and aspirations now seem silly and a bit unrealistic. What is the purpose of a question like this, and as Coates asks, “what did it mean to, as our elders told us, ‘grow up and be somebody’? And what precisely did this have to do with an education rendered as rote discipline?” (25).

For me, to be somebody means to be successful, well known, and or have a purpose. There are hundreds of paths one can take to become “somebody”, but the education system tends to promote a single path consisting of cooperation and putting all your effort towards school. I remember in grades one through four asking my teachers if we could do more hands-on projects with nature and wild-life, but I was always shut down and told that it was not in the curriculum. I never quite understood why I wasn’t able to learn more about things that interested me, but when Coates explained that he “was a curious boy, but the schools were not concerned with curiosity. They were concerned with compliance” (26). it seemsed clearer. If you don’t comply, you will be disciplined to make sure that you stay on the “right” path. Implying there is a right path. How is it reasonable to expect a kid to put all their effort into a subject they have no interest in, and not allow them to be curious? The simplest answer is, it’s not reasnable. How is Ayaan going to fulfil his mantra “I can do anything” if the place he is walking to is going to stunt his creativity.

​As a kid I found myself going to numerous after-school programs in order to fulfill my creative needs that weren’t being satisfied at school where I was bound by the constrictive curriculum. I found my experience resonated with Coates as he “was made for the library, not the classroom. The classroom was a jail of other people’s interests. The library was open, unending, free” (48). Neither Ayaan or others should have to go outside of school to fulfill their dreams and creative interests, nor should they be disciplined for not complying.

​I’ve noticed flaws as I’ve progressed in the educational system, but Coates magnified it in a way that brought it all together. The educational system promotes a growth mindset, and yet provides no room for self-growth. This is has to change, especially for Ayaan.

American Value

Although it’s not brought up often in conversation, a known value of the United States is wellness of children. From Michelle Obama’s health campaign, “Let’s Move!”, to the “Got Milk?” campaign, healthy lifestyles in the children of America is a core value of our nation. Past president Obama even passed the Every Student Succeeds Act and The Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act, which allowed more accessible funding for Physical Education and healthy food in schools. But is the value of a healthy lifestyle being seen in kids everyday lives? In new trier when you go to check out with your lunch in the cafeteria, there is a cart packed full of an assortment of snacks. From bottom to top, there is a variety of chips and candy bars to choose from. Yes, there is a selection of granola bars, but they are wedged in the corner and only amount to a tenth of the total snacks available. But this issue isn’t just found in the New Trier cafeteria, it can be seen all across the United States. Along with unhealthy lunch food, lack of enforced physical wellness for kids is being seen. Only six states require physical education in grades K-12. For a country so focused on healthy kids, 12% sounds like a very small number. Furthermore, according to hhs.gov, “only one in three children are physically active every day”. In conclusion, while the perceived notion of the United States’ attention to the wellness of kids is supported in the big picture, a closer look reveals the unhealthy daily lives these kids are enduring.